What can I do to be happier??

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In answering the question “what can I do to be happier” we have to first look at happiness and define what it really is we are seeking. Here’s the deal with happiness.

Happiness

• Sourced externally (relies on “mental ruts” or automatic/subconscious thoughts)

• Dependent on circumstances

• Emotional response

• Having what you want

• Based on what is happening

• A FEELING based on circumstances

BOTTOM LINE: Happiness is a feeling.

Let’s consider feelings f

or a minute.

We are all familiar with feelings right?? Not the description of them, but the actual feeling. Soul-deep clenching or releasing or wobbling.

These feelings can govern us and keep us walking on eggshells inside our own body. Think about the terms we associate with feelings: mixed feelings, emotional rollercoaster, life’s ups and downs, pit of despair, go to pieces, on top of the world, and bent out of shape to name a very few (and this is just in english). Consider other languages and how words were invented to identify what exactly it is that is going on in the body.

German - Feirabend: the festive mood at the end of the working day.

Hungarian - Pihentagyu: ‘with a relaxed brain,’ being quick witted and sharp

Georgian - Shemomec

hama: eating past the point of satiety due to sheer enjoyment

Japanese - Koi no yokan: the feeling, on meeting someone, that falling in love will be inevitable.

Japanese - Shinrinyoku: the relaxation gained from bathing in the forest (figuratively or literally)

YIddish - Kvell: feeling pride and joy in someone else’s accomplishments

Norwegian - Tyvsmake: to taste or eat small pieces of food when you think nobody is watching, especially when cooking

Sanskrit - Sukha: genuine lasting happiness independent of circumstances

Bantu - Mbuki-mvuki: to shed clothes to dance uninhibited

What do all these feelings have in common?

They are temporary. Even happiness is temporary. That is why, when I am helping a client “get happier” with their life we focus, instead, on joy!

Let’s look a little closer at joy.

Joy

• Sourced internally (created with new/conscious thoughts)

• Independent of circumstances

• Act of will

• Wanting what you have

• Based on what you know

• A THOUGHT that defies circumstances

BOTTOM LINE: If happiness is a feeling then…

Joy is the thought that makes that feeling happen!

This should excite us! Why?

Thoughts can be challenged and changed. In the cognitive behavioral therapy cascade of THINK → FEEL → DO the place that change occurs is ONLY in the think. It is the original hack!

So let’s get down to business. What can we DO to find and keep joy!

1. Train Your Thoughts

   1. Look past the feeling

   2. Change the thought (may have to neutralize the thought first)

   3. Practice!!

2. Prime Your Day

   1. Move your body

   2. Journal

   3. Give yourself a pep talk

3. Be Prepared for THOUGHT TRAPS & MIND RUTS

   1. Drain the drama

   2. Give it a place

   3. Put your brain on a scale