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Can I be a little vulnerable with you?
I used to be an emotional train wreck.
Seriously, the least little thing that I didn’t have control over would rock my world. So much so that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in college.
The thing is, I really didn’t want to react the way I was reacting to things. I wanted to be “normal” and, when I really panicking, it was like I was outside of my body thinking “why won’t I just STOP?” It made me feel like I was crazy and had me seeking therapy and medication.
Now, before I go on, please know that I am a HUGE supporter of both therapy and medication. I believe that God has given us brain and science to help us when we are in need. Both of these interventions play a huge part in getting to the point where I can venture into what I’m going to tell you today.
For many, many years I was getting along just fine using a three-pronged approach to managing my anxiety. Medication (on an as needed basis thankfully), therapy (I left the professional therapy route after a few years and spent time in books that helped reiterate what I learned) and exercise. Oh yeah, did I mention that exercise is KEY in combating anxiety? And I don’t mean box jumps and pull-ups, just a little movement every day can stimulate the “feel-good” hormones needed to work against anxious thoughts.
Then, I got a perma-roomate (read: I got married) and things got pretty rough.
Then, I got another perma-roomate (read: I had a kid) and things got darn near unmanageable.
I had been shaken at the roots and was faced with never ever having control again. And my tried and trusty tools were only acting as a band-aid.
I was sitting on my couch, nursing a baby and bawling my eyes out because I could see dog hair on the floor and couldn’t get up and vacuum plus I kind of had to pee and had no idea what to do with this THING in my arms!! (Seriously, it sounds super callous but if you’ve been there you’ve been there…). I decided to distract myself with social media (usually this is totally cringe-worthy, but it worked out for me on this day) and opened up Facebook.
PING! “Hannah Keeley is LIVE!”
Now, I had been following Hannah for a while and loved what she had to say, but it always seemed a little out of my league.
Finances? Eh...we have two jobs and cars paid in cash, student loan debt sure but who doesn’t have that?
Fortress? I love our home and usually have it fairly tidy (see above comment about dog hair).
Faith? I pray. I read my Bible (sometimes).
Fitness? Dude! I’m a group exercise instructor and teach physical education at the college level.
Family? Let’s skip that one for now okay?
Freedom? Freedom from what? There is nothing holding me captive.
Oh man was I naive. First of all, I was being IMPRISONED by my need to maintain control. By my anxiety-ridden thoughts. And by my inability to move FORWARD beyond them.
Back to the Facebook live, Hannah was sharing a story (if you follow her I’m sure you’ve heard this one) about crying into a load of laundry and feeling totally hopeless.
WHOA!! Back it up. The supermom felt hopeless? The supermom cried into laundry? Now, this is someone I could relate to.
Then she told the story about how she was able to get back up and turn her life around.
That is what I needed. I needed a COACH.
As someone who has always been involved in athletics I knew what a difference the right coach could make.
So, I decided to throw control to the wind and trust that I was capable of making a TOTAL LIFE CHANGE.
And, with an infant at home and a full time job still taking my attention, I did something the old Gretchen would NEVER have done and enrolled in Mom Bootcamp. (No tire flipping required - it is all INNER MOM work!)
It changed my perspective, changed my anxiety level and changed my life.
I plugged in to Mom Mastery University to keep working on FREEDOM (not unlike all those books I was spending money on for my “therapy”). And from there I became a certified mentor and have taken many other women through this same process.
What does my life look like today?
Finances? Debt paid off and I own my own business running courses in health and fitness online as well as mentoring moms in Mom Mastery University.
Fortress? I don’t freak out over cleanliness and have a plan of attack to keep my home neat in only 30 minutes a day.
Faith? I pray, meditate and plug into The Word every day!
Fitness? I’m done with the days of workout so hard my body hurts and have found a great workout for me! I love it so much I’m sharing it with others! (check it out)
Family? It is still work to have perma-roomates, but I have so many strategies to keep our relationships strong.
Freedom? I am NO LONGER A PRISONER TO MY THOUGHTS! This has been YEARS in coming. I have never felt so FREE!
Check out how I specifically approach my emotions on a daily basis:
Want to end the struggle and transform your wellness for good? Check out my method here!
Until next time,